This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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