remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
