are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
