so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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