if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
