Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is Oprah even human
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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