Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
