I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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