Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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