So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize