There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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