a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i drank out of a bidet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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