fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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