i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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