Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
