Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
