don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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