I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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