Well apparently he's into motor boating.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
