i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
