I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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