So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
