I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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