R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How naked do you want me to be?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
