what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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