I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
