I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
