you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize