I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
