yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
