worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
