Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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