I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
