if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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