he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
