wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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