I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
