A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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