Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
