You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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