Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
