I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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