I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
