I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
