just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
