I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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