The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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