I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
