well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
