If i come over, it means nothing
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Porn is love you can see.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
