honey bunches of taint.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
