That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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