obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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