So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
