oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
