It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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