i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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