idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
