This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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