Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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