Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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