his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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