You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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