Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
