It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
