oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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