No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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