Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
