Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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