yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
