This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
